There is an old Yiddish folk tale about a guy who feels like his house is too crowded and noisy, so he asks his rabbi for advice. The rabbi suggests that the man bring a goat into the house. Predictably, this does not improve matters, so the man goes back to the rabbi. Following a succession of visits to the rabbi, the man has brought basically every animal on his farm into his house. Finally, the rabbi suggests removing all the animals, at which time the man discovers that his home is actually a peaceful paradise.Our version of this story goes something like, oh, man, having two preschoolers, one of whom has a chronic health condition, is really tough at times. How about if one of the kids randomly starts performing toilet activities not on the toilet? Better? No? How about giving one of those kids the ability to vomit on command? No? That didn't improve things either? How about if we just return to the status quo of two preschoolers, one with a chronic health condition, but no random toilet activities and no vomiting?
You guys, it is paradise on earth over here. I have not washed a puke-soaked thing in several days. What was our genius strategy? We told Lemon that if he kept puking, we could not go on our planned family trip to Milwaukee for Thanksgiving, which involves staying at a hotel with a swimming pool, and possibly also seeing dinosaur fossils at a museum. Like flipping a switch. I can tell that he feels much better, too. After all, throwing up is not pleasant and exhausting, plus which if you retain say zero of the nutrients you are supposed to be ingesting, you feel lousy. Now he is bright eyed and full of energy again. Fingers crossed, we are done with that whole scenario.
The one problem we were still having was with brushing his teeth, where the mere sight of his toothbrush would make him gag violently, and I could only brush about two or three strokes before I had to stop lest risking whatever dinner had made it in coming back out again. I mentioned this problem at food school today and his therapist suggested a new toothbrush. I was skeptical, because I thought it was really the physical sensation of the brush in his mouth that was causing the problem, but given that we are going to the dentist TOMORROW I was willing to try anything. So, after bath this evening, I loaded up the old tooth brush, got so far as about the end of Lemon's nose, and he started gagging. I then pulled a brand new tooth brush out of the drawer, and asked if he wanted to try that one instead. He said yes, so I got it out, and lo and behold, he didn't even flinch, and in fact insisted on taking a turn brushing his own teeth after I was done.The mind is a powerful force. The young child's mind is both powerful and capricious. Ah well. With a sufficient supply of kittens, running, and bourbon perhaps we'll make it through.
